Many of us were taught, in one way or another, that fantasy is something that has an undertone of shame. The implication being that if you imagine something, some part of you must want it in real life and under real circumstances, and wanting certain things means something negative about who you are and the choices you might make.
That’s a fairly significant misunderstanding of how the erotic imagination actually works!
Fantasy is more like a language in my opinion. The things that captivate us in our inner lives such as scenarios, dynamics or kinks are usually not literal blueprints for what we want to enact. More often, they’re pointing at a desire to feel powerful, or powerless, or chosen, or free. A need for intensity, or softness, or to be known so completely that nothing needs to be explained.
When you get curious about your own fantasies, they become genuinely informative.
Someone who returns again and again to scenarios involving surrender might find, on reflection, that what they’re actually hungry for is permission to stop managing everything. Someone who is drawn to fantasies of being deeply desired might be circling an unmet need to feel genuinely seen by the people in their life.
We needn’t whittle desire down to psychology, or insist that every erotic thought must be analysed into meaning as sometimes a fantasy is pleasurable and that’s entirely sufficient. But for many people, especially those who’ve spent years feeling confused or ashamed about what they’re drawn to, approaching the erotic imagination with curiosity rather than judgement can be incredible.
Your erotic imagination is trying to tell you something about what you need, what you value and what kind of intimacy you might be desiring for.
I advise staying curious and looking deeper. xx
Evie Elysian · Melbourne Independent Escort
